Recently, I had the privilege of speaking at the “Leading the Family Office” course at London Business School. The cohort consisted of a diverse array of professionals, all united by a shared goal: to understand how to tailor their Family Office’s activities to serve their families’ unique needs.
Interestingly, most of the questions revolved around the intangible elements that drive family dynamics, rather than the technical and governance processes that underpin them. This is a critical yet often overlooked dimension of family enterprise success.
Families generally excel at managing the tangible aspects of their wealth: overseeing daily operations, setting strategic priorities, hiring advisors, and ensuring effective governance. These elements are both vital and obvious for maintaining a well-organised, efficient Family Office structure.
However, a greater challenge lies in nurturing the perceived intangibles: the family’s shared identity, the interpersonal relationships, and the fostering of a deep sense of belonging.
These elusive aspects fuel a sense of purpose and engagement far stronger than mere obligation. While a sense of familial responsibility may drive family members to uphold and protect their legacy, the real magic happens when they act from a place of fulfilment, joy, and connection. It’s the difference between doing something because they feel they must and doing it because they genuinely want to.
So, the million-dollar question remains: How do families inspire this kind of intrinsic motivation and connection?
The first step is to establish clear, documented rules of engagement that provide clarity, transparency, and fairness. Think of this as setting the framework for a family to “talk” before it can effectively “walk.”
Achieving this foundational organisation is no small feat. It requires continuous effort and needs to evolve alongside the family’s growth and changing dynamics.
The continuing success of many multi-generational families is due, in part, to having robust and adaptable governance. However, even the best structures can feel hollow without attention to the emotional fabric that binds a family. Families often strive to remove emotion from decision-making to maintain fairness and objectivity. While this is crucial, it must be counterbalanced with intentional efforts to cultivate loyalty, respect, enjoyment, and acceptance.
These qualities are not learned through formal instruction or structured meetings but through authentic and consistent interaction. In large families, members may only see each other a few times a year, making these moments even more critical.
“Even the best structures can feel hollow without attention to the emotional fabric that binds a family.”
In any family, the question “Who is in charge?” is usually straightforward. The answer typically points to those with authority, knowledge, and decision-making power. However, these leaders are not always the ones who foster emotional connection within the family.
The true “glue” often comes from those who wield influence rather than formal control—family members who are approachable, good listeners, and able to connect across generations. These individuals are vital for relational health, even though their roles may be informal and unwritten.
Recognising and celebrating these natural influencers strengthens family unity. Encourage them to organise gatherings, family activities, or simple get-togethers. When these individuals say, “Let’s do this,” their influence ensures that everyone shows up, renewing the family’s sense of togetherness.
When families come together for an event – be it a visit to the family business or a retreat – the itinerary often becomes packed with scheduled meetings, activities, and “organised fun.” While structuring time together is valuable, it’s crucial to recognise that the most meaningful, personal interactions often unfold organically, outside of a rigid agenda. Creating space for spontaneous connection allows family members to bond in ways that scheduled events may not facilitate, fostering genuine engagement and a stronger sense of unity.
Balancing structure with emotional engagement fosters a shared sense of purpose and deep-rooted connection, creating a legacy that is not only well-managed but also deeply cherished. As families evolve, so too must their approach, weaving together governance with genuine, meaningful relationships that inspire each member to actively participate—not out of duty, but from a place of genuine desire and pride in being part of something greater.
“Balancing structure with emotional engagement fosters a shared sense of purpose and deep-rooted connection.”
In conclusion, building a strong foundation for multi-generational families requires a thoughtful balance of structure and emotional engagement. By establishing clear governance frameworks, recognising the unique role of natural influencers, and creating space for authentic connections, families can cultivate both operational efficiency and relational harmony. This dual focus ensures not only the effective management of shared goals but also the preservation of the intangible bonds that inspire loyalty and pride. Together, these elements form a legacy that is both resilient and deeply meaningful, empowering families to thrive across generations.
For further information about any of the insights shared above or to find out more about Bedrock’s Family Strategy and Governance services, please do reach out info@bedrockgroup.ch.
Author: Maria Villax, Head of Family Strategy and Governance at Bedrock
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